from Prague to Cincinnati
Oh dear… it’s been a while… but it seems like it’s been only a few weeks. Well, time goes by and I fell kind of lost in between. It could be said that lots have changed and at the same time that everything is exactly the same. I’ve travelled a bit trying to understand and forget things. Did I succeed? I thought so… however, when one things got clearer the others became the opposites. So I wandered through the streets of Prague and held my breath everytime I discovered the beauty of it (every 30 seconds), spent hours at Heathrow airport observing travellers in a great rush or those half asleep, ate Indian and Vietnamese food with such a pleasure that I didn’t want to leave the restaurant, fell in love with overseas universities, walked from bar to bar in Cincinnati, OH, saying hello to strangers and giving smiles here and there. I got time to rethink certain decisions, emotions (if you can rethink them), situations. I gained a bit of strength, self-confidence and accetance. And when I came back I realized that:
extraordinary teacher
Extraordinary teacher that makes you think, and think, and think… and then – think again.
…
ok, here it is. i’ve been staying at home and lying in my bed for past 10 days and, although i really needed some time to rest and forget about ordinary little things that keep bothering me at my every work day, i suppose it’s high time to get back to the outside world. i feel like having holidays (except for the fever) – exicement at the beginning as you have loads of time that you can devote to whatever you want – reading, listening, watching, writing, sleeping, taking photos, look through photo albums (that you have about 10 or so), browse the Internet to find the books that you really want to have etc. but then, after the first impact of excitement, you just get bored as you need that rush of your non-holiday life no matter how much you can’t stand it. so, now it’s the point to leave „dexter part 3″ and tales of mr poe and a bit of mr dickens, and also to give up watching „gray’s anatomy” series 5 and 6, and all the other films (no matter how good some of them were). it’s time to grab my camera and go for a long city walk as i’m missing the winter city, the christmas city, the silent city again. because even if i admit that my work slowly kills my excitement for teaching and the working hours will probably literally kill me unless i do something with it, i need my fucking job to keep me alive which is an awful irony. as it’s better to something than lose sanity when doing nothing at all but thinking way too much. and i definitely should let some thing go and make the history history for the sake of the present and the future as living the past and reopening old wounds along with instantly looking for the clues that should point the things i did wrong seems to be pointless. i wonder why it is so hard to do it and accept things that they really are today, and why it’s so damn difficult to see the bright side and belive that it’ll all change for good.
and by the way – i have no idea why it all came to me in english. blame books and films.
gravity
Lost again
Broken and weary
Unable to find my way
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to
Just let this go
I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live
I fell again
Like a baby unable to stand on my own
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to just let this go
I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live, I choose to live, I choose to live [...]
