…
ok, here it is. i’ve been staying at home and lying in my bed for past 10 days and, although i really needed some time to rest and forget about ordinary little things that keep bothering me at my every work day, i suppose it’s high time to get back to the outside world. i feel like having holidays (except for the fever) – exicement at the beginning as you have loads of time that you can devote to whatever you want – reading, listening, watching, writing, sleeping, taking photos, look through photo albums (that you have about 10 or so), browse the Internet to find the books that you really want to have etc. but then, after the first impact of excitement, you just get bored as you need that rush of your non-holiday life no matter how much you can’t stand it. so, now it’s the point to leave “dexter part 3″ and tales of mr poe and a bit of mr dickens, and also to give up watching “gray’s anatomy” series 5 and 6, and all the other films (no matter how good some of them were). it’s time to grab my camera and go for a long city walk as i’m missing the winter city, the christmas city, the silent city again. because even if i admit that my work slowly kills my excitement for teaching and the working hours will probably literally kill me unless i do something with it, i need my fucking job to keep me alive which is an awful irony. as it’s better to something than lose sanity when doing nothing at all but thinking way too much. and i definitely should let some thing go and make the history history for the sake of the present and the future as living the past and reopening old wounds along with instantly looking for the clues that should point the things i did wrong seems to be pointless. i wonder why it is so hard to do it and accept things that they really are today, and why it’s so damn difficult to see the bright side and belive that it’ll all change for good.
and by the way – i have no idea why it all came to me in english. blame books and films.
